After binging Netflix’s searing, controversial Aaron Rodgers-umentary “Enigma” — a work that didn’t present the QB as a warm-and-fuzzy kind of guy — it’s doubtful your takeaway was, “Hunh, I bet that dude gives the best Christmas gifts ever.”
Funnily enough, that takeaway would’ve been 100% on point.
Turns out the quarterback whom non-Jets (and non-Packers) fans love to hate is quite the generous teammate, an ayahuasca-guzzling Kris Kringle who enjoys spreading holiday cheer among his protectors.
Aaron Rodgers’ Gifts by the Numbers
We were all taught from an early age that it’s impolite to ask your gift-giver how much the present in question cost. Since Rodgers didn’t give us anything, we don’t feel any compunction about digging around and finding out approximately how much the future Hall of Famer dropped on Joe Tippman, Max Mitchell, and their brothers in blocking (all prices are approximate).
- Tom Ford suit: $5,000
- Tom Ford cologne: $450
- Tom Ford sunglasses: $700
- Louis Vuitton passport holder: $370
- Devil’s River Bourbon: $90
Each of the #Jets offensive linemen received several gifts from Aaron Rodgers this Christmas, per @RichCimini: 🎅
– A custom Tom Ford suit (a tailor twice came to the facility to take measurements)
– Tom Ford cologne
– Tom Ford sunglasses
– Louis Vuitton passport holder
– Stereo… pic.twitter.com/Rme3xFNd9T— Harrison Glaser (@NYJetsTFMedia) December 26, 2024
We don’t know what brand and model of speakers Rodgers chose, but for the sake of argument, let’s say he went with a Bowers & Wilkins 704 S3, which retails for just under two grand. Some quick calculation tells us that No. 8 dropped about $8,500 per lineman; some more addition then tells us that he threw down around $42,500 in total. If Rodgers’ generosity extended beyond the starting lineup, that number could approach six figures.
Currently sitting in third place in the AFC North at 4-11, the Jets will walk away from this season with more questions than answers, the biggest being, “Who will be our starting quarterback in 2025?”
Since Rodgers is enduring one of the worst statistical seasons of his career — not to mention that he’ll be turning 42 next December — Jets fans are likely asking Santa to put Shedeur Sanders into their stockings.
But his O-line, basking in their Tom Ford swag and sipping their Devil’s River, might be pulling for a Rodgers return.